You're no prince, but I think I like it like that

I grew up always wanting a prince. I envisioned him as this perfect tall dark and handsome man who would sweep me off my feet, who would have perfect fashion sense (princes do not dress poorly!) and who would do me no wrong. I'm sure most girls grew up wanting this and they might still do. I did--up until a few days ago. I was sitting in my room writing music. I haven't written in a while so I was going through some writer's block. I started thinking about the people in my life...more specifically the males. I don't have any special someone in my life right now--just some really great guy friends. I thought about them individually and I thought of men together as a whole. I realized that I could name at least one 'fault' about every man I knew. I then caught myself thinking "one day I will meet my perfect man". I realized how horrible and unrealistic that sounds. I realized that I expect men to be perfect, to be a prince. I automatically felt really ashamed that I put that much pressure on the men in my life now and the men who will be in my future. I am not perfect so who am I to expect my counter part to be perfect? This came into context this past week. My friend and I have been going through a rough patch. Things still aren't fixed but I realized that I was about to give up on our friendship because we are going through ONE hard time. Who am I?? Why am I being so...bratty? People aren't perfect, friendships aren't perfect. Yet, there I was, about to quit on someone who has been so great to me this past year or so of our friendship.

I love fairytales. I have a Disney princess poster hanging on my wall at school. I am constantly watching Disney movies. This next semester I am taking a class on fairytales. I LOVE them. But, they don't exist. I am no perfect princess. I mess up. I say and do things without thinking. I hurt people who I love. Because I am this way, I can't expect a man NOT to be this way. The man I eventually fall in love with and marry will at times hurt my feelings. And I'm sure I will hurt his. We will fight. We won't be perfect. He will be no prince, but I think I like it like that. I am not perfect and if he was, I would feel horrible that I cannot live up to his perfection. We will fight, we will hurt each other's feelings, we will say things we don't mean. But that is life. That is how people work. And now that I am realizing all of this, it makes me hopeful. I don't have to be perfect and whatever man is in my future does not have to be a prince.

New post?! Whoa!

I don't post a lot. Honestly, I totally forgot about my blog. But today as I woke up from the sound of shattered glass (my roommate's mirror broke) and couldn't fall back asleep, I was reminded that I have one week left until I go home for a month. ONE WEEK. A lot of people are excited about break. Me, well I have mixed feelings about it. I am excited to see my family and my best friends and go home to my little town. At the same time, I'm sad to leave New York and everything that is good here. I live in the perfect location, I am surrounded by everything (Pinkberry is one block away!) and well, let's be honest, Pennsylvania is boring. Don't get me wrong, I love my hometown. But compared to the city, there is nothing to do. Another things is, my friends. I don't want to leave them for a MONTH. That is a long time especially since some of them I hang out with 3 or 4 times a week. Another thing I don't want to leave...yoga. I NEVER thought I would get into yoga. But I have and I have fallen in love. I take classes 3 times a week downtown and I absolutely love it. It is so great to exercise and work and relax all at the same time. It is amazing what yoga can do for the body. I don't want to leave that! Also, church. I JUST found a church. (Literally two weeks ago..) It is such a great place and it fits me perfectly! I don't want to leave when I just found the place! And the last thing I am sad to leave...Our Time. These past few months, I have been volunteering for Our Time every week. I love seeing the kids create and write and be so confident. I was not confident at the age and it warms my heart to see them each week write incredible songs, plays, or poems. I look forward to Our Time every week. The kids just mean so much to me and the fact that I have to leave that for a month makes me really sad. It isn't only the kids, it is the other volunteers, too. Some of them have become my closest friends in the city. It will be sad not to see them and work with them every week. So this is my last week. Today is my last Tuesday yoga class. Tomorrow will be my last small group. And Saturday...my last Our Time. I know it isn't forever but a month to me seems like such a long time! It was a rough semester, I will be honest. But lately it has been so good. I love where I live and the people I am blessed to be friends with. It will be a long month away from all of this. See you later New York.